#14 sick and workplace anxiety
Jan. 25th, 2018 10:30 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tarobunSaturday: started having dry coughs like my throat was irritated. Thought it was from inhaling second-hand smoke from hanging out with folks that day.
Sunday: fall sick in the afternoon with chills and little fever. Rest most of the day after yoga instead of going mushroom hunting with mom.
Monday: don't recall if I had a fever overnight but felt better in the morning. Even concluded on twitter that bulk of it was over (probably felt confident because cough seemed better and thought I broke through the fever). Tried to do a little work, was dismayed at how slowly it was going with all the tinder/acpc breaks. Heated up a little bit around 4:30 p.m. and took a break until 5, when I set off for ballet, where I felt fine enough.
Monday night: another fever and cough at night again.
Tuesday: told work I was experiencing a little dip and was potentially going to rest. Rachel made me a ibuprofen cocktail. I hauled myself to the rec room around 11 a.m. and did plodding work until 8 pm, even feeling not very great in the evening. Started having a runny nose. By evening had a temperature again. Another fever at night, with an earache and it felt like some fluid in the ear.
Wednesday: did some communication with my manager at work (first time I mentioned it was the flu) and said I would try to go see a dr to check on my flu progress and still conditionally get some work done. Instead I rested in bed all day, napping through light fever. Felt bad in the evening when I could have worked but didn't quite feel like it (was wet/rainy outside, limited hours in rec room, evening work etc... one of few occasions where I definitely feel wifi in apartment might have helped). Note: slight ache in left side of abdomen near pelvis, like lymph node or kidney area.
Wednesday night: no fever for first time. Not deep sleep probably because I napped all day.
Thursday (today): Still wasn't sure about going into work since cough / nose symptoms weren't entirely gone. Wasn't sure I wouldn't get another fever during day either. (Basically it would be wise to stay safe by staying home and evaluating today, at least the morning.) Checked on internet again: "contagious 5-7 days after symptoms start". Also still contagious if coughing/sneezing and still getting fevers. Don't go in until 24 hours since any fever has ended. Pregnant women at work (compromised immune system, implications for baby if they get the flu) definitely on my mind. Communicated with manager.
Go back and forth between "am I sick enough.." or "should I go see a doctor (worried abt long/lurking chest infection leading to pneumonia, occasional but mild chest & abdomen pains, whether my cough got worse or not)" ... Worried people will hate me for being sick and missing work for so long. A little aggrieved that I act optimistic (strain of my wish fulfillment syndrome) and keep on thinking I'm recovering but it takes longer than I project to others. Know that it's a bit silly that I agonize a lot over working and promise getting work done to others when I'm sick with the flu (feel like a workaholic/perfectionist, as a flaw). Wondering if it's starting to get late to finish all my work now. Mostly I need to put all of these thoughts away in the dumping bin since they're not helpful to me and just get some work done now that I'm at home anyway. 😤 I might want to get a face mask for tomorrow if I end up going (no fever today, and limited coughing and sneezing).
